Long Reef Beach ocean swim is a no-go while the tsunami is a no-show

When I hopped in the car to drive to the northern beaches this morning the Long Reef SLSC ocean swim was still expected to run, despite a tsunami warning issued to the east coast of Australia following the earthquake in Chile.

That was at 8.30am. By the time I got to the beach at 9.15am, all the beaches along the east coast of Australia were closed and the swim postponed.

What a bummer. The surf was gentle with no chop. The conditions were calm and inviting. It would have been a fantastic swim.

Lots of people ignored the 'Beach closed' sign and took the plunge anyway. I went in for a quick dip and, would you believe it, got dumped by the tiniest wave! How embarrassing. I just hope to god no one was looking when it happened.

It's funny though, while I was in the water it did cross my mind that if there was a tsunami I could be sucked out to sea like tapioca pearls up a straw. I blame a diet of disaster movies since my teenage years for this irrational thought.

Some of the hardcore ocean swimmers weren't scared and about half-a-dozen big boofy blokes dived in and headed north. Good luck to 'em.

Unfortunately, the Long Reef swim has been moved to April 11, the same day as the Mollymook destination swim on the South Coast. I'm heading south.

I hear that so far over 250 people have died in Chile, and Santiago looks like it's been jackhammered by 'roid-rage giants.

My heart goes out to the people in Chile.

PS: This pic of Long Reef - what tsunami? - comes from the phone of Mr Os.c, the force behind www.oceanswims.com

Go there to find out all the latest ocean swimming news.

And they say ocean swimming makes you look younger: Malabar to Little Bay

I can't remember who told me that (see headline) but I bet it was some cocky bastard who swims faster than me. And today that was almost everyone.

It's about 10 hours since I struggled through the Malabar to Little Bay Stockland Challenge. I feel like an old ship wreck - crusty, rusty and full of salt water.

I've got a cold (that's my excuse this time) so that didn't help.

But the conditions in the Tasman Sea (Hello New Zealand) were choppier than a slicer dicer. It was uncomfortable all the way and I had trouble spotting the small, orange, conical buoys, which were supposed to keep the swimmers on course.

It looked calm from the shore. Little Bay is a pretty spot and I'd like to go back there with a snorkel and fins to check out the reef.

Up the hill from the beach (one of the few undulations in a flat and arid south-east Sydney) there's a huge Landcom/Stockland medium density housing development on the land once occupied by Prince Henry Hospital. If Davo and I do the swim again next year, there'll be nowhere to park because today we rolled into a sandy, vacant lot earmarked for development.

It was stinking hot, but the vibe was fun where the swim started at Long Bay/Malabar (better known for its maxium security correction centre). Talking of suburbs and reputations, Malabar used to be the exit point for much of Sydney's virtually untreated sewage.

I remember how it used to smell - like shit - because my mum and dad's card-playing friends, Merle and Vic, lived nearby in a house with a lilac coloured bathroom that had a fluffy mauve toilet seat and a toilet-roll dolly. As a child, I adored that bathroom.

Sadly, M and V are long gone, but these days the site at Malabar apparently 'treats and discharges' the sewage via 'deep ocean outfalls'. The Malabar outfall is 3.6 km out to sea.

Mmm...

But back to the swim. It was difficult and tiring. The first 1 km out from Malabar beach past three well-placed buoys seemed to take forever as the swell rose and then fell away sharply. I felt like a cork bobbing in a bowl of water.

I thought the right-hand turn at the headland, which is home to a golf course, would make things easier.

I was wrong. The swell became even more of an impediment to progress. It was hard to see the buoys so I had to focus on the splashing arms of those swimmers in front of me. When I wasn't swallowing water I had my head up, and had to stop a lot to get my bearings (you think I'd learn).

I was happy when it was over.

Will I do it next year? Now I say 'no'. But ocean swimming is like childbirth, after a while the memory of the pain recedes. And then you go and do it again.

Goodbye Uncle Ted

Late last week my Uncle Ted died after a long struggle with cancer.

Ted wasn't really my uncle. He and his wife, Peg, were close friends of my parents. My sister and I called them 'Aunty' and 'Uncle' because when we were kids they were like family.

Every Christmas for many years, Ted, Peg and their three daughters and Mum, Dad and my sister and I would trek to some far-flung destination for the school holidays. Each year the two families left Sydney on Boxing Day, towing the two caravans north, south or to some godforsaken caravan park in the desert somewhere.

I can still remember sitting on the side of the road, just out of Hay in western NSW, in the stinking heat after one of the cars broke down. I remember how Ted accidentally swallowed a fly and commented on how good it tasted, as if he ate them every day. Big booming Ted always had a twinkle in his eye.

And now Ted is gone. I hadn't seen him for three years, about the time the cancer struck. Possibly my sadness is selfish because it makes me worry about my own parents. Also, my holiday memories are now tied to this loss and tinged with a sense of wistful longing to have everything right in my own little world.

Mon coeur est triste. Goodbye Uncle Ted.

North Bondi Classic Ocean Swim - sweet

Let me take you back to the North Bondi 1 km and 2 km Ocean Swim in 2009.

Last year the event was held on Sunday, February 8, the day after the bushfires in Victoria had attracted national attention.

On that Sunday morning the crowd at North Bondi had no idea of the devastation being wreaked by the wild blazes down south, though there was a minute's silence at 9am to commemorate those who'd lost their lives. The count was around five in the morning, but that was just the beginnning. When it was all over later that week, the death toll was 173 babies, children, women and men.

At the 2009 swim, the temperature in Sydney was in the high 30s. It was stinking hot and cloudless. In contrast, the water temperature was around 16 degrees. It was bloody ball-breaking freezing (and I don't even have balls). After last year's swim, several poor sods suffered serious hypothermia and had to be wrapped in alfoil to re-heat their frozen bones. One was rushed to hospital.

This year was a different story. It's been raining all weekend in Sydney, though the humidity makes it hard to breathe.

Davo, my friend Ms Five-Star-Around-The-World and I arrived in overcast and drizzly conditions, wondering about the debris that would have flowed into the ocean over the past few days. It was there when we went in for a pre-swim dip - bits of leaf and wood, polystyrene balls and other junk. But the water was clear and (thank the Lord) a pleasant 20 degrees (my guess).

To cut a long story short, which I find hard, the swim was a dream.

Davo and I followed the rip that runs beside the North Bondi rockpool out to the first buoy and it was magic. I often dive into an ocean swim and think, why the hell am I doing this? Today, I thought, this is just what I want heaven to be like. The rip gave me a gentle push as I observed rocks, reeds and schools of small fish on the way to the first buoy. Davo says he saw a ray, but I missed it.

The rest of the swim was a joy until I got tired towards the end (too much wine last night?) and swam wide (always a good excuse for not beating Davo). I didn't even mind the woman who swung a left at me around Mackenzies Point, almost dislodging my goggles.

Coming in was easy because the surf was small and there were no strong currents. Apologies to the hardcore ocean swimmers, but for me these are perfect conditions.

The North Bondi swim is always inspiring PLUS swimmers get a goody bag full of freebies, which doesn't often happen at other events - anybody want a sample sachet of chilli beef-jerky?

To finish on a more solemn note, I feel so bloody lucky to be able to do this. What a great way to celebrate life.

PS: pic from http://www.oceanswims.com/ from the 2009 event, I think.