Tuesday, 5 July 2011

A stiff breeze and a stiff drink

It's blowing a gale here in Cleveland, Queensland. Not Cleveland, Ohio.

I'll head out to Manly, Queensland (not Manly, Sydney), later today with fingers crossed that The Hiss has sailed into the record books and not into last place on the final day of the regatta.

There will be dire consequences for Spanner and me if she fails in her quest to dominate world sailing. I fear I will be forced to consume a bottle of red in order to numb the pain of her verbal abuse.

I haven't yet heard from Spanner, and that's not good. If The Hiss does well Spanner is more buoyant than a cork. Sadly, he lives vicariously through his children. In this case it is the second child as his first-born failed to embrace sailing, the only sport on the planet that Spanner cares about.

Geez, I'm freaking out. Why hasn't he called? She must be coming bloody last. Capsized on Moreton Bay. Screaming blue murder. This is a nightmare.

Worse still, we have left our home in Sydney and our dog (I LOVE MY DOG) in the care of my eldest daughter, Precious Princess. She's 20. Say no bloody more.

As 'Anonymous' wrote in the comment section of my last post, it is highly likely that my castle has been trashed by a horde of Gen-Ys with nothing at all on their minds. EMPTY VESSELS IN SEARCH OF FUN.

I sent a text message to PP on Sunday night. Here it is:

Me: 'How are you going?'
PP: 'Balls deep.'
Me: 'What?'
Me: 'Is it OK?'
PP: Sorry, that was Charlotte. Going good. Just having a movie night. Dog is happy in her basket.'
Me: 'If anything happens to dog I blame Charlotte.'
PP: 'She will not be left alone with dog.'
Me:'Dog will tell me everything.'

Realistically, the dog won't be telling me anything. How I wish she could talk.

Arrgghhh, another gust of wind. It's an ill wind that blows no good!

P.S. I've added another post to my writing blog. Click on the shaynesands link to read all about my experience in the Valerie Parv Award.


Anonymous said...

Oh, that was Good Charlotte coming over to party with PP. wonder if she will have some ink when you return

Shayne said...

Not funny - again.

Anonymous said...

did Miss Hiss win?

Shayne said...

Miss Hiss came 5th out of 15 boats, so that's Ok.