I bin away so long: weather and demented middle age take their toll on my season swims' tally

Another perfect beach. This time it's Caves Beach.

It all started, or should I say ended, on February 24 when the Bondi swim was postponed because of crazy weather and massive swells along the eastern seabord.

A week later on March 3 the Freshwater swim was put on hold, again because of lousy weather contributing to rip-laden surf conditions at around 22 Sydney beaches.

I lost my way during this swimless period, figuratively and literally, when Ms Fivestar and I thought it would be a fine idea to cruise up the coast to my first swim in two weeks on March 10.

The Caves Beach swim, near Lake Macquarie, had been postponed weeks earlier due to inclement conditions. This was the organisers' second attempt to get it right, and they were on to a winner. It was a beautiful day. 

I got to Ms Fivestar's place in Sydney's inner-west a little after 7.30am, cock sure we'd make Caves Beach well before 10am. It's supposed to take one hour and 40 minutes to get there. Like NOT.

The problems started when we turned on to the F3 at Hornsby and decided to find our own way to Caves Beach without the assistance of the GPS. My GPS has a chick's voice, and she tends to interrupt the conversation with inane comments about speed limits, road conditions, traffic hold-ups and the like. She's a bit like an annoying friend who's always butting in.

And because Ms Fivestar and I both think we know everything about everything we resent being told where to go by a disembodied voice.

That was our first mistake. The second was that I called Spanner and asked him where we should turn off. He should know because he and The Hiss often head to Belmont to sail on Lake Macquarie.

He told us to use the GPS.  Yeah, whatever.

His second suggestion was to look out for the sign: Lake Macquarie East. We zoomed past the Lake Macquarie West sign but by then we were heading for bloody Brisbane.

By the time we got back on track, after turning on the car GPS and Ms Fivestar's phone's GPS, it was around 15 minutes before the swim. We arrived at the beach at 9.59am, just before the 10am start.

I ran from the car and Ms Fivestar moved to the driver's seat. Once on the beach I could see orange buoys in the far distance. READ: FAR DISTANCE.

I approached a friendly surf life saver. We were on the wrong beach and needed to head further south. I scuttled back to the car and Ms Fivestar hit the gas. It was after 10am. I wasn't sure how many waves (starting groups, usually grouped by age) there would be so thought I might still be able to make it.

We arrived at the beach - Caves Beach - and I ran on to the sand holding on to my goggles while Ms Fivestar went to find a park.

Swimmers negotiating the shallows to get to the finish line.

But something was amiss. I could see the finish line but not the start. Another friendly surf life saver informed me the swim started further south beyond the breakwater. 

Despair and resignation mingled in my deflated heart. Too late, too late. Moan. Inner sob. Mea culpa.

I watched with longing and envy as the swim's participants negotiated their way through the shallows towards the finish line after having completed the 1.5km swim.

Not fair. Not fair. Not fair.

Then I got over myself.  

In the end, it wasn't all bad. Ms Fivestar and I had a leisurely swim in clear, 21 degree water and I got the chance to have fun in the surf without the pressure of having to 'compete'.

Afterwards, we bought a counter lunch at the Caves Beachside Hotel, an attractive steel, glass and corrugated iron structure that overlooks the beach.

Another week passed and I missed the Balmoral Beach 1km swim on March 17. This time my decision not to swim was intentional. The money raised from entries to this swim goes to a good cause - children's cancer research - but I've done the swim before and it's too much like hard work.

Too many swimmers confined to a teensy part of Balmoral makes for an uncomfortable and potentially dangerous situation. This is a harbour beach and so attracts all level of swimmer.

I find it's too crowded and too stressful. I worry about getting kicked and punched by fellow swimmers caught in the melee at the start and around the turning buoys.

And don't get me started about finding a car parking space that's not miles away- all of it up steep hills - from the beach. I heard that 1200 people participated in the swim. 

On that same day, the 9km Dee Why swim was cancelled - the 2012/13 swim season's contrary weather and its impact on the ocean has caused big headaches for swim organisers.

I'll write about North Steyne in my next post as this one is already too long.

Cole Classic 2012: is it worth the effort?

I wonder what would happen if he got a haircut? A finisher in the Cole Classic

Saturday, February 3, the day before the Cole Classic: 

Around midday I checked the official Cole Classic website to see if I could pick up my timing device and cap on the day of the swim. Nowhere on the website did it indicate that people like moi - late earlybirds who missed having their timers and caps mailed to them - could pick up their gear at the event.

So I made the 90-minute return trip to Manly to collect my stuff and discovered that I could've waited until Sunday. Apparently the organisers don't like to advertise that timers and caps can be picked up on Sunday because it can get "chaotic"*. 

Chaos: The walk from Shelly Beach to Manly Beach

I paid $52 to enter the Cole Classic so I reckon the least the organisers can do is inform people of their options on the website. 

I thought, 'Bugger you Fairfax Media** . I spit on you and your capitalist-pig owners who never spare a thought for the struggling masses who like to swim.'

Then I had a pleasant dip at Shelly Beach, communed with the fishies, drove home and downed two reasonable glasses of Merlot before 7pm.

Sunday, February 4, the day of the Cole Classic - magnificent sunshine after a week of solid rain: 

I organised my 'crew' - Mrs Snorkel, Ms Fivestar, Mrs Onyabike and Mme Zen - to be at the beach by 10.30am. This coincided with the start of the 2km swim - the inaugural 9km swim from Dee Why to Manly started at 8am and the 1km swim started at 8.30am. 

My crew walk towards Cabbage Tree Bay

The traditional course starts in the calm cove at Shelly Beach and finishes at the surf beach  Manly. But the surf at Manly was looking pretty rough and ready when we arrived. The organisers had already decided to move the finish line to Shelly. 

It's a small beach so the logistics of sending swimmers out and directing them back in is a challenge. I reckon the beach is less than 250 metres wide? My maths is bad so correct me if I'm wrong.  

I was in wave 15. Get it? There were 14 age groups and whatever else starting the swim before my group. There was a 10 minute wait between each wave, which meant that females in the 40+ age group didn't start until 12.40pm. That's more than two hours after the first wave.  For gawd's sake, the 2km race presentations were underway at Manly before my cohort started at Shelly!

They've got the right idea: Cabbage Tree Bay

That's dumb and not fair. By the time my wave entered the water the conditions offshore had significantly altered. The surf was up and there was more chop out the back than at a karate demonstration. I think the swim could still work with five-minutes between swimmers.

I'd had enough by the time I was herded into a holding pen with my mauve-capped cohort (why do they always give the old ducks mauve caps?). I was tired, hungry, thirsty, hot and sunburnt. I felt like a refugee in Speedos. 

The holding pen for each wave of swimmers

 

What about the swim? It was OK, I guess. I've had better. There was lots of chop, much water swallowed, I didn't see any fish and as I turned at the buoys my teeth were nearly kicked out by swimmers doing breaststroke.

After the swim I caught up with my 'crew' who had sensibly abandoned me early on. They left the hullabaloo at Shelly, preferring to snorkel at Cabbage Tree Bay. So much for support! 

Next year I'll think twice about the Cole Classic. It is a corporate event and not all the money made goes to charity or the local surf club. It's a profitable event for Fairfax. Otherwise, why run it?

On the other hand, it's fantastic for those swimmers who are starting out in ocean swimming. The course to and from Shelly is pretty much risk-free. Also, the buoys are clearly marked and there's heaps of support out on the water.

At least my peeps bonded.

Next week's swim of the week is at North Bondi. 

Speak soon.   

PS: At lunchtime yesterday Manly Beach was closed because of dangerous surf. Today 23 Sydney beaches were closed.

*the words of the nice girl employed by Fairfax Media

**ailing newspaper, radio and online organisation of which 13 per cent was recently procured by Australia's richest person, the adorable mining magnate Gina Rinehart