During the numerous and lengthy ad breaks in MasterChef Australia I have time to ponder the qualities I want in the hero in the book I'm writing and what I don't want.
Using MasterChef as a research tool I've learnt I don't want my hero to be like one of the three judges, chef George Calombaris.
For a start, he has an ego the size of a small African country.
He also eats like a pig - this has been well documented so I won't go into detail here, except that he holds his fork and knife like a four-year-old, shovels in the food and chews like a toothless hobo.
But the worst thing about GC is he's humourless.
When a situation is funny, Georgie Porgie Puddin' and Pie doesn't crack a smile. I don't think he knows how to.
The show has its lighter moments, like tonight when four of the contestants had disastrous results with Adriano Zumbo's amazing macaron tree recipe. I must digress - these macarons are bright pink (with a beetroot and raspberry filling) and purple (with a kalamata olive and bergamot filling).
The contestants macarons were variously squished and cracked and couldn't match Zumbo's masterpiece. But rather than see the humour in their less than perfect results as the other judges did - including Zumbo - George remained poker-faced.
One day I might have a place for George as a minor character in a book, but never as the hero.
Unless he loses the attitude. And learns to eat properly.
