The Great Sydney Swim 2013 on Australia Day: closing in on the boofy blokes and the great diet challenge

After The Great Sydney Swim in Sydney Harbour Mr Mild Mannered, Mr Very Big and I went for a coffee at a cafe in The Rocks, which featured a display of cakes and pastries in the window.

Over two apple strudels - Mr Very Big had ice cream with his - the two revealed they'd recently been dieting. Is that irony?

They also discovered, having scoffed down the calorie-laden pastries quicker than my dog can lick clean a 350g yoghurt container, they were almost the same weight.

Mr VB is 105 kilograms and Mr MM 106 (it might be zee other way round but vhat iz a kilo between strudels?).

Mr Very Big then had a bright idea - he and Mr Mild Mannered would make a bet to see who could get to his goal weight first and the loser (and this was my bright idea) would take the winner and his spouse out to dinner at a nice restaurant. The details of the challenge have yet to be confirmed.

Turn the clock back to the end of the swim - a 2.2km hike from the Man O War Steps at the Opera House and back.

Usually Mr MM leaves Mr VB and me in his wake. He's a powerful graceful swimmer.

But today something strange happened. As I finished the swim and queued to climb up one of the two ladders to get back on to the pontoon, I noticed Mr MM just ahead of me. I couldn't believe it. What was he doing there? He usually cruises past me like a sleek ocean liner overtaking a rust-bucket fishing trawler.

Mr VB was just as shocked. He finished 9 seconds ahead of Mr MM.

Mr MM made excuses for this anomaly. But at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what went wrong in the water.

There was not a lot of seconds between the three of us. For once we were almost equals. I finished 16 seconds behind Mr VB and 7 seconds after Mr MM.

I got the feeling Mr MM wasn't too comfortable when Mr VB likened us to a tight little triangle! God, it's a hoot.

This year the main swim attracted 517 participants. Again, women are under represented at 179.

The day was beautiful and the Sydney Opera House shone like mother of pearl in the morning sun. Major excavations are taking place to build an underground loading dock but The House rose above the construction site, solid and serene.

My friends and I parked ourselves under a shady tree before the start and all was well with what is usually a very messy world.

Back left: Mr MM and Mr VB. All bets are on.

The swim requires punters to jump into the harbour for a water start. I've done this same course on many occasions (it's also run in March by a different organisation) so I'm used to putting myself out there as shark bait.

Still, it can be unnerving when you consider that last year around 17 tagged bullsharks were roaming around the harbour on Australia Day. Better not to think about it. BLOCK IT OUT. DENIAL.

Today, the organisers decided to lump the 40+ age group of men and women in together. The water churned and boiled with swimmers. I had no time to think about ravenous indiscriminate bull sharks because I was so worried about getting kicked in the head by a testosterone-fuelled bloke in budgy smugglers.

At the starter horn the biffo ensued, as I knew it would. A couple of hundred swimmers thundered across to Mrs Macquarie's Chair in Farm Cove and seemed to arrive at the first can at the same time. I got thumped a couple of times. I shut my mouth around every can to save my teeth.

During the swim I found the time to look back over my shoulder at the Harbour Bridge, flags stiff in the breeze, and those sexy flying nuns pissing in the harbour.

After the first can, we bolted up to the end of Farm Cove, where we hung a right and swam across to another can to take another right.

I first spotted Mr VB after passing the OpenAir Cinema Screen. He paced me and threw out that charming Irish smile I'd sometimes like to wipe off his mug. But not today. I handled the pressure well and had no trouble sticking with him.

I only lost him near the end when I went off course (the usual) and, as Mr VB said, "started swimming towards Kirribilli". Goodness knows what I might have achieved had I stayed on course.

I might have walloped Mr MM - that's a satisfying thought.

Score out of 10: 7.5
Each participant got a goody bag that included a towel and a pair of thongs/flip flops. I love free stuff. The water was served in paper cups - a big pat on the back to organisers for that. 

Any gripes: 1. Four portable loos for around 800 swimmers (there were two shorter events that boosted numbers). It doesn't work. I got in and out before they deteriorated into a major health hazard.

2. See complaint (in main story) about chucking everyone aged 40 and over in together at the start.

3. Some punters complained about the placement of the buoys/cans - apparently some missed the final can, which significantly shortened the swim.

4. We got the goody bags so there's no use complaining about a lack of fruit!

5. The commentator with the sand-paper voice did my head in. I bet he's the loudest bloke at the barbecue after a few cold ones. And he kept calling everyone "buddy". Whatever happened to good old "mate"? Americans say buddy and we say mate. I think I'll have to dedicate a post to this word creeping into the vernacular. It's bad enough that 4WDs have become SUVs and mobiles have turned into cell phones. RANT RANT RANT.

Sydney Harbour Swim Classic: What to worry about - pollution or sharks?

Wow. Sydney had sunshine for three days in a row. Today it's raining again.

But yesterday was an open-water swim organiser's dream. Blue sky, warm air temperature, just-right water temp and light winds ensured a strong turn-out for the event.

I was there and more concerned about pollution from run-off than bull sharks (see my last post). The day before I'd walked my dog along the Parramatta River and it was a dirty brown colour. Goodness knows what was floating around in the harbour yesterday but I'm sure there was plenty of grime, grit, grease and garbage.

Spanner, who is so supportive of my swimming (and everything else I do) said: "You'll get a virus." Thanks Spanner. The man is a freakin' love god.

I suppose I should be grateful. He did drive me to the Sydney Opera House and then fled before I could ask if he wanted to accompany me and maybe, just maybe, have a coffee together. 

Turns out he drove to a quiet cafe in the Inner West and indulged in the Sunday newspaper and a flat white. He was mentally preparing for the return home where our 15-year-old, The Hiss (as in hissy fit), was ready to inflict her special sort of torture on anyone within a two-hundred metre radius as she struggled to come to grips with the esoteric wording of a commerce assignment. 

If The Hiss struggles, we all struggle. Poor long-suffering Spanner. No wonder he's addicted to shows with 'mega' (structures) or 'monster' (garage) in the title. That's what living in a house full of women (including the dog) does to a man. He needs some serious chill time.

Hang on. Where was I? Admiring the most beautiful harbour in the world.

I met up with my swim-squad mates Mr Mild Mannered (MM) and Mr Very Big (VB). MM was there with his beautiful wife who had set up a picnic blanket under a shady tree. 

It's so easy to take for granted the Opera House, Harbour Bridge and the harbour. I've seen the view thousands of times. I wonder if people in cities like Cairo, Rome, Venice, Paris, Rio de Janeiro, Prague and New York stop, look around and think: "OMG, this is an amazing place. How could I take it for granted?"     

That's how I felt yesterday. The sails of the Opera House glowed like mother-of-pearl and the sky was an intense blue that makes you squint. 

I did both the 1 km and 2 km swim. Madness rules in my head. I jumped in with the rest of them at the Man O' War Steps right next to the Opera House and momentarily considered sharks before the start gun sounded. Then I bolted.

What is not good about this swim is the water quality, which was poor yesterday, and, of course, thoughts about sharks. I say 'thoughts' because I don't think the swim would be run if there were any concerns about bull sharks popping in for a squizz. Every year a fire tug is positioned about 500 metres out from the event. It sprays huge spouts of water in every direction into the harbour. I wonder if it's there to freak out any bullies that might be cruising by. Dunno.

What is good is everything else. I breathe to the left so as I swam away from the Opera House towards Mrs Macquarie's Chair I could see the 'House' and the 'Bridge' over my left shoulder on every breath I took. Far out. How unreal is that? 

After the first swim I was buggered but I dived in for the 2 km and took my time. This swim chucks a right at Mrs Macquarie's Chair and heads into Farm Cove in the Botanical Gardens before turning back to the Opera House. You climb out at the end of the swim via a ladder and onto a pontoon. Often there are things that make you itch in the water. But not this year.

I'm not sure what's happening this weekend. A swim around Shark Island in The Shire is one option. I'll keep you posted.

PS: I'm still waiting for the predicted virus to attack my immune system.

NO BULL - JAWS IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The horror thriller Jaws is on the telly this Saturday!

No doubt the programmers at Channel Ten were prompted to run the 1975 classic after the numerous shark sightings and two attacks off Sydney in the past month.

The bullshark responsible for tearing off the hand of a navy clearance diver and mauling his right leg so badly that it had to be amputated is apparently the size of a small car.

Whoah! So, that's what happens when you're hit by a Mitsubishi Lancer?

The bull shark, according to scientists who exaimined the diver's westsuit, is about 2.7 metres long, 'the length of a small sedan'.

The tagline for the Steven Spielberg film is: 'Amity Island had everything, Clear skies. Gentle surf. Warm water. People flocked there every summer. It was the perfect feeding ground.'

I'm surprised some enterprising journalist hasn't come along and replaced 'Amity Island' with 'Bondi beach' for the perfect lead paragraph.

Let's just hope that the Sydney Harbour swim organisers have got it right when they reassure nervous swimmers in the event that it will be all right on the day.

That's what the authorities were telling the tourists at Amity Island!

What lies beneath: shark attack in Sydney Harbour

From memory, one of the most terrifying scenes from the movie Jaws is when the monster shark takes its first victim.

The audience witnesses the attack from two vantage points, above and below the calm surface of the water. Above is the head of a young woman, below is her torso, arms and legs. It's the legs I remember - moving languidly, enticingly - just enough to keep her afloat and just enough to alert the killing machine of her presence.

Naturally, the rest is carnage.

Human beings have a primaevil fear of sharks. A visceral, gut churning terror grips every one of us at the possibility that we might ever encounter such a massive, powerful, robotic terminator. Worse still, is contemplating a horrific death as the shark chainsaws its way casually through each of our body parts.

As an ocean swimming participant, I have learnt to manage my fear of sharks. Research shows that most sharks are more frisky at dawn and dusk when they're out hunting for food.

And the ocean swims are generally well patrolled by the organisers and swimmers are comforted (though some are distburbed) by the knowledge that the majority of Sydney's surfing beaches have been meshed (since 1937).


However, Sydney Harbour is another story. It's deep and dark. Some areas aren't meshed. Visibility is limited to about 20cm. It's not like the ocean where, on a calm day, swimmers can marvel at the fish and reefs they might be lucky enough to swim over.


In Sydney Harbour you're swimming blind. I know because I've done it twice as an entrant in the Sydney Harbour Swim Classic, which starts from the Man 'O' War steps at the Sydney Opera House. Swimmers then follow a 2km course out to Mrs Macquarie's Point and around Farm Cove before returning to the steps.


It's an inpsiring swim, mostly because with each breath and turn of the head you're catching a glimpse of the Opera House sails, the Sydney Harbour Bridge or the Royal Botanical Gardens.


But back to the main point (or white pointer) of this blog. SHARKS!


The event's location is just around the corner from Woolloomooloo Bay and the naval base Garden Island, where a navy diver was recently attacked by Bull Shark (the experts are pretty sure the bull is the culprit).

The shark struck Able Seaman Paul Degelder, 31, from below. It bit his right hand and leg, but retreated after he punched it. Degelder is in hospital in a critical but stable condition, according to a story in The Sydney Morning Herald (February 12, 2009).

Another story in the SMH reveals that shark numbers in the harbour are on the rise. John Dengate from the National Parks and Wildlife Service was quoted as saying: "February and March seems to be the time of year when we get more sharks and surface fish in the harbour.

"I guess it's the downside of the environmental controls... 20 or 30 years ago the harbour was a very difficult place to be for a fish, these days it's actually quite beautiful."

Great! I wonder if the bull shark was admiring the Opera House before becoming distracted by a whiff of breakfast?

I also wonder how the organisers of the harbour swim, which takes place on Sunday March 1 from 9.30am, are dealing with this minor complication?

If you go to the website which can be accessed through www.oceanswims.com you will find a slab of information on safety and risk management. The organisers explain that they have the 'safety of the swimmers as the number one priority'.

The event is professionally run and I'm sure the organisers will attempt to cover every base on the day. Apart from the 1km and 2km swims, this year a new event - a charity sprint to and back from Fort Denison - has been added. Mmm, not for a plodder like me.

In the report Likelihood of a Shark Attack in Sydney Harbour During the Sept 2000 Olympic Games, the authors suggested that one of the best ways to deter sharks was to 'have boats with motors (as opposed to canoes, kayaks or surf boards without motors) patrolling outside of the swimmers ... this is on the presumption that motors in the water will deter sharks from the immediate vicinity.'

Or what about this? 'Placing a line of scuba divers equipped with Electric Protective Oceanic Devices ... between the patrolling motor boats and the swimmers.'

I like it.

I haven't paid my $40 entry fee yet. I'm holding off for a bit. Maybe it's itchy feet. Maybe it's because I'd like to keep my feet!

This is part 1 of a 3 part series on sharks. Look out for part 2 SOON.
















































Shark attack in Woolloomooloo smh.com.au#