Sunday, 23 May 2010

If only David Campbell was an ocean swimmer he might not be in this mess

*My theory, which is my own, on the David Campbell scandal is that if the former NSW Minister for Transport and Roads did some REAL exercise (this excludes raising the GAY BAR) he'd be a lot happier and healthier.

I was shocked to learn he's only a couple of years older than me. Even before he was outed by a callous media, the poor man was obviously (figuratively) wrestling with demons of some description that led to excessive food and alcohol consumption.
He looks at least 10 years older than his 53 years. He is massive - a walrus - with a neck lost under the flubber of several chins. And he has a complexion so swarthy that it appears every blood vessel in his face is ready to burst.

My point is the occasional salt-water dip and physical exertion in the fresh air (I would imagine that a gay bar is a poorly lit and airless venue) would have the same effect as a refeshing cold shower, thereby limiting Mr Campbell's visits to Ken's at Kensington.

After a hard day in Parliament or on the hustings, DC thinks: 'Rather than a dive at Ken's, I fancy a strenuous work-out at Bondi. That'll do the trick!'

And the eye candy on the beach never disappoints.

*I am not without feelings and my thoughts are with DC's family, whom he deceived for over 20 years. DC didn't deserve to be outed by Channel 7, but he is, nonetheless, a coward.

Pic: DC's head is placed atop the taut torso of our country's Federal Opposition Leader, the Mad Monk.

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