Byron Bay dolphins hate me

Wategos Beach at Byron Bay

Sunset at Wategos Beach

Sunset at Wategos beach

I went to Byron Bay for Ms Fivestar's birthday bash, which was a huge success. The weather was bee-ewd-ifull, so I swam every day even though the water was a 'refreshing' 17 degrees (that's my 'guess'-timate).

Before I caught the flight home on Monday afternoon I did a kayaking tour in search of dolphins, whales and turtles.

The dolphins, which were in abundance that morning, disappeared as soon as my friend, Mr Irish, and I, paddled out. I had warned Mr Irish about my relationship with dolphins. When they see me coming, they swim in the other direction.

Our guide, a laid-back older surfie boy (circa 1978), told us it was going to be a good day for wildlife because the ocean was flat, and early that morning he'd seen heaps of dolphins fishing and frolicking in the bay. I said nothing, but I knew otherwise. 

I would love to be a child of the ocean who attracted dolphins in their hundreds. But dolphins hate me. When they know I'm around, they send out a sonar message to clear out of the immediate area ASAP. I don't know what it is about me that they find unattractive. I think they must latch on to my desperate desire to have them love me. Maybe they think I'm too needy. Or neurotic. And that affects their own sense of well-being and 'dolphin-ness'. Know what I mean? 

I swear that every dolphin-spotting tour I've done has been a flop, that leaves tour guides scratching their heads: "I can't understand why the dolphins aren't here today," a guide commented when I took the kids on a dolphin cruise at Port Stephens several years ago. He added: "Yesterday a pod of 50 came right up to the boat and swam with us the whole trip."

That's not to say that we didn't see anything during our seven kilometre paddle (what a workout). We spotted: a whale's spout in the distance, a green turtle popping his head out of the water, several dolphin fins in the distance and a mako shark leaping out of the water - yes, it's true. But, as usual, I was looking the other way and only saw the splash. I blame the dolphins; they were playing with my head.