An 'entire' male doesn't make the cut

I was down on the oval walking my dog Karma the other day when we encountered a Borzoi and its owner.

This dog is huge, but not in terms of weight. Underneath its long flowing mane, the Borzoi appears to be almost skeletal and reminds me of another-worldly type of creature. Its frame is large and it has the height of a pony. Freakish.

The Borzoi's owner is just as unusual. He is around 60 and wears neatly pressed cream trousers and shirt. His silver grey hair and healthy yet ruddy complexion evoke images of the English country gentleman with hound. And get this - the guy smokes a pipe! (I bet he wears a cravat on more formal occasions).

Anyway, the Borzoi leaps gazelle-like towards my dog, a medium-sized Kelpie cross, who cowers behind my legs. My poor old nothing-but-a-pound-dog is terrified of the Borzoi.

In an attempt to diffuse the tension, I ask the owner: "Is it a male or a female?"

To which he replies: "It's an entire male."

Entire male? Who gives a toss? I just wanted to know if it was a boy or a girl dog.

If I had been quick on the uptake I would've responded with: "Karma prefers them un-entire."

Or asked: "Does that mean you haven't had its balls cut off?"

Ouch!

Some men are wankers. Entire or un-entire.

What are words worth: word of the day is snarkful

I love words - I suppose I should since one day, before I am being force fed mush in an old people's home, I plan to be a published writer.

I used to keep a book of words and everytime I discovered a new word I would write it and its definition in the book. I haven't looked at it for a long time, but here we go. Under 'H' are the words hyperbole, hebetude and harbinger.

My youngest daughter's flavour of the year in words is 'sublime'. Whenever I proof-read her homework I notice she manages to slip it in somewhere!

And isn't it just such a rich, voluptuous word? Roll it around in your mouth and get a feel for it. Yum.

Five of my personal faves are sanguine, languid, insousiance, serendipity and desultory. Lush (that's one too).

But today I discovered a new, fun word. I had seen the term 'snarky' used in the past, but never 'snarkful', which seems to be a new take. Snark, says www.urbandictionary.com, is a combination of 'snide' and 'remark'.

So, now when you're in conversation try dropping in the word snark, snarky, snarkily or the best of all - SNARKFUL. There's also snarkster, snarkasm, snarkalicious, snarkenfreude(!) and snarkalec.

Here' another variation just invented by me - snarkoholic (noun); A person addicted to snarkful comments.

The blowflies are back

There's a bloody blowfly beating itself against the window and then buzzing around the room like a crazed World War II bomber pilot.

The blowfly reminds me of a NSW politician. The blowfly lives on leftovers and faeces, while the pollie bludges whatever he can to fill his personal coffers.

The blowfly is fat and full of maggots; our politicians are fat and full of bull****. The blowfly doesn't understand boundaries, it flies up noses and into ears. The politician gets up our noses and is always in our ear with some rant about how he's working with our best interests at heart...

Both are annoying and we're never rid of them!

Now that rant is over, I must say life is pretty damn good (apart from W-O-R-K) and the sky is pale blue.

More stuff on romance and swimming soon. In the meantime, I'm off to get the swatter.

Down at 'Drummy' the seasons turn turn turn

Drummoyne Swim Centre is one of the best-known outdoor pools in Sydney. You can view it from the Iron Cove Bridge as you travel from Rozelle to the other side of Parramatta River.

On my regular bus trips home from work in the city, I observe the pool as the seasons change.

On a hot summer's day it's packed with sunbathers and families; in the evenings under lights the water polo team trains there.

In January and February it's booked out during the day for school swimming carnivals.

By autumn the numbers of swimmers have dropped off, but early in the morning the pool Nazis (mostly boofy blokey ocean swimmers) brave the chill to do their laps.

'Drummy', as the locals call it, closes after the summer season in April. This year the filtered salty water pumped in from the river went a little green before the pool was emptied, worked on and refilled.

Four months have passed in the blink of an eye and it's open again!

This is a personal call to attention. I need to get back into the swim.

*Turn turn turn - to everything there is a season.

PS: The sad thing about this pool is that the new bridge lane now under construction will overshadow it, and the constant drone of traffic will compromise the ambience of the place.

Turn turn turn the other cheek...

*Song title borrowed from the Byrds