How to mention sharks and sex in the same post

Someone put this challenge to me the other day when I told them my recent post on Underbelly: the golden mile received around 30 hits from around the world, possibly because the topic was the show's witers' preoccupation with boobs the size of basketballs and boring sex scenes.

We also discussed my passion for ocean swimming. "Aren't you scared of sharks?" is the question most people ask me when I tell them about my hobby. Not, "Aren't you afraid of drowning or of huge waves, rips and those horrendous bluebottles?"

My answer is, "Yes, I am scared of sharks," but I don't think I have to worry about them during an ocean swim. Here are my reasons:

1. Sharks tend not to snack during the day, which is when most ocean swims are held. The serious carnivores that frequent Australia's eastern seaboard tend to eat brekky around dawn and tea around dusk (I would give them an hour either side to digest their meal). This is my and every other ocean swimmer's theory, and I'm sticking to it.

2. The surf lifesaving clubs that organise most of the local ocean swims always have loads of rescue-crew support, in dinghies and surf skis, along the course. You are never far from help if a shark is tugging at your cossies.

3. Most organised swims have aerial surveillance so if a shark is spotted, as was the case during the Tamarama-Clovelly swim in early April, the event is cancelled. Tough luck if you were still out there when the call went out.

But seriously, it's a well-known fact that sharks hang off Fairy Bower near Manly and I heard that one was spotted during this year's Byron Bay Winter Whales swim.

What was the topic of this post again? Ah, yes SHARKS and SEX.

Let's see how many sharks react to that.