I don't usually make New Year's Resolutions because they come back to bite me courtesy of my ever-alert family.
Yesterday, Miss Hissy pointed out that I would find it impossible to keep a resolution because I "never stick at anything". This coldly delivered observation was made after I took her to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 (she's already seen it twice), bought her lunch at Sushi Train and took her to Dymock's so she could buy I am Four.
I don't think she meant her advice to cut so deep, but that's The Hiss. She is cruelty and malice wrapped in a cute package. Deceptive.
Despite this, I've decided to declare my New Year's Resolutions for 2011. I know I'm a fool, but what else was I gonna write about?
For what it's worth and if you're interested (yawn now) here they are:
1. I will be nice to The Hiss even though she's really mean to me*.
2. I will be less critical of my eldest daughter Precious Princess, who often leaves the house wearing outfits that leave little to the imagination and has a new boyfriend who rides a motorbike**.
3. I will be kind to Spanner who still can't quite get around to setting up the mirror and towel rack in the bathroom, even though I bought them a year ago***.
4. I will finish my latest ms... and start another****.
5. I will achieve better ocean swim times*****.
*If you've met The Hiss, you will be aware of the momentous nature of this resolution. The Hiss is my greatest critic - she is 14.
**PP turns 20 in 2011. PP does as PP likes. I have lost control, so have nothing to lose by accepting that while she might hear my words of wisdom, she chooses not to follow them.
***What more can I say?
****This is two resolutions in one, and it's huge. The Hiss is correct when she says I find it hard to stick with something. I find it hard to finish a novel. I've just completed a short story, but that's a distraction. I've got to get a rough draft done by March. Gulp. And another started after that. I'm stressed already.
*****I couldn't really get any slower. "Faster, stronger, harder" is my new swimming mantra. Chortle.
It is done. You read it here. Numbers 4 and 5 are probably the most tangible resolutions, though 1 to 3 could probably be measured by my blood-pressure count.
I don't have to start until January 1, 2011, so I've got a few more days to harangue Spanner about the chores around the house, to hassle The Hiss and send frantic text messages to PP, who is at a music festival somewhere in the wilds of Victoria.
In the meantime, back to the book... or should I do some housework and sort out the mess in the office?
PS: I haven't included diet, drinking or exercise in my resolutions because there is no way I would be able to follow through. And would I really want to?