Spanner has a thing for ABC1's week-nights' newsreader Juanita Phillips. I'm not jealous or anything because Juanita is attractive but not stunning. If she was younger with large breasts and a whiter-than-white smile I'd be a little concerned.
But she's not. She's middle-aged pretty in a nice non-threatening way. (Her eyes are too wide-set but that's an objective observation.)
Spanner thinks she's sexy, which is a comfort.
I ask him: "What's so sexy about a woman with bad dress sense?"
He likes her hyacinth-blue eyes and "the way she delivers the news".
My take: He's got a thing about the girl-next-door who could be a little bit naughty behind closed doors - I reckon he'd like to see the coiffed hair a little tousled.
Lately we've started to discuss Juanita's on-air attire, her lipstick and hairstyles. Sometimes she gets it totally wrong. On Thursday, she wore a buttercup-yellow tailored jacket and a royal blue camisole underneath (who knows what goes on under the desk). The overall effect was awful. The colours clashed and distracted us from our focus on the news of the day - god forbid.
There have been other occasions when Juanita's lippy has been either too red or moist pale pink - laid on with a trowel. And the hair - occasionally it looks like it's lifted from a '70s Cosmo cover.
Personally, I prefer Felicity Davey, who fills in on weekends. She's another attractive blonde but with better taste in clothes. Tonight she wore a grey ensemble. The jacket was satin but Spanner didn't approve. He said it looked like a man's.
You might think I'm being sexist but this isn't the case. Only recently, one of the world's most outspoken feminists Germaine Greer criticised the fashion preferences of Australia's prime minister, who is a woman with a rather odd-shaped rear end.
If Germaine can have a go, so can I.
I'm sure Spanner is not the only bloke to lust over Juanita Phillips. Every weeknight there are men all over Sydney who tune into ABC1 News for a glimpse of those big baby blues. They get a kick out of her playful throws to the Washington correspondent, authoritative tone and quiet assertiveness.
And now for the weather...