It can get cold in the Central Australian desert, so pack some warm clothes just in case

It can get cold in the desert in October. Especially when you're sleeping in a swag around an extinguished campfire.

A swag is sort of a cross between a sleeping bag and a tent. In the famous Australian poem/bush ballad Waltzing Matilda the main character is a jolly swagman, an itinerant chap who carries his bed rolled up on his back.

After sleeping in a swag I can't understand how he could be so bloody 'jolly'. But I don't suppose it would work if the poem went: 'Once a grumpy, sleep-deprived swagman, with a bad back and frostbitten toes, camped by a billabong...'

The modern swag has a foam underlay and you can slip a sleeping bag inside it. At 1am on the first night of the tour at a permanant campsite at Yulara campground, not far from Uluru, I awoke in the feotal position. I had somehow burrowed into the middle of the swag, but this didn't stop the cold night air from creeping into my lair.

It was freezing. I'd estimate it was around 4 degrees Celsius. Geez, I felt my age as I staggered off to the bathroom several hours later. By day 4, I didn't bother looking in the mirror!

But my point is I hadn't packed enough warm clothes and nor had Precious Princess, who threw in skimpy Pammy Anderson shorts and light cotton sleeveless tops. Brrr...

The weather during the day varied from cold with a strong wind-chill factor (at Uluru for the sunrise and sunset viewings) to hot (walking through the Valley of the Palms on the last day of the tour).

It even rained on the first day, not a lot, but enough to cause puddles at the roadhouse where we stopped for morning tea. Rain in a place that averages an annual 230 millimetres and has fewer than 40 days of rain per year.

Back on the road in the warmth of the 4WD...

After seeing Uluru, I thought that nothing could top it. But over the next few days we visited the spectacular Kata Tjuta (formerly known as the Olgas), Kings Canyon, Ormiston Gorge and the Valley of the Palms.

Coming up in the next blog... beer and camel sausages with our legend tour guide BENNO. Could life get any better than this? Mmm... maybe in Byron! (pics of a cloudy Uluru and PP in skimpy gear collecting firewood for campfire)

Uluru is the true-blue red heart of Australia

Red. That is the predominant colour of Central Australia. The other is blue. The red dirt that gets in your nostrils and ears and shoes and socks is in stark contrast to the blinding blue sky.

But enough waxing lyrical. Precious Princess (PP) and I had a bloody brilliant time bonding in the desert, as you do.

We saw THE ROCK from every possible angle (except the top) and walked the 9.4 kilometres around it. Our tour guide BENNO (his name just had to end in an 'O') says there are two types of people who climb ULURU - those who are ignorant and those who are arseholes.

ULURU belongs to the Anangu people. It is their home and they discourage climbers. Many climbers reach the top and piss on it, literally. Because of this, a small shrimp-like creature that lives up there recently became extinct. Also, since people started climbing THE ROCK (not sure when - in the 1960s?) 42 have died. BENNO (what a legend) told us it took authorities four days to find the body of the last bloke who fell to his death in December 2008.

I was convinced of the sacredness of this ancient monolith when it first came into view on the first day of a four-day 4WD camping tour with eight others. I cried (pathetic). I didn't expect it be so spectacular and majestic. I suppose I've spent my life looking at the postcard, so I thought it would be a sort of dome-shaped red bit of rock. But it is a mercurial entity.

It is massive and in some places pock marked. It has ripples and ruts, dents and bluffs. There are waterholes and caves within its deepest recesses.

And it changes colour - pink, mauve, red and brown - dark and full-cream chocolate.

In the next instalment I'll write a bit more about our excellent adventure into the Red Centre with guide BENNO and the super group (two Germans, two Japanese, two Canadians and four Aussies -including PP and me).

Cheers and more beers!

The desert's come to town, now we're going to the desert

My eldest daughter Precious Princess (PP) and I are heading to to outback Australia for five days.

We are going to THE ROCK.

It's a first for both of us. After this trip to Alice Springs and Uluru, we can truly claim to be deadset dyed-in-the-wool, I've-been-everywhere-man Aussies.

PP will be sacrificing at least three nights of clubbing at Kings Cross and Darlinghurst with her BFFs. This will probably nearly kill her.

Fancy having to get up at dawn each day and be in bed before 3am!

She asked me if she could take the laptop so she could do uni work. Unbelievable. We're on a friggin' journey into the Red Centre and there's PP on Facebook, or catching up on late assignments as the sun sets over Uluru.

I made it clear there will be no laptop.

This trip could swing both ways - huge mother daughter bonding success or massive failure.

"OMG, a dingo ate my 18-year-old!"

PS: This blog will return on October 6. Thanks for your continued support.