Lately I haven't managed to get to a pool, so I feel like a kettle about to boil all the time. A blimp. A butterball. A blobby blogger.
For me, swimming is a form of relaxation and rejuvenation. In spring, I join a bunch of eejits who compete in the ocean swims in Sydney.
But what to do in the cooler months? Well, I could visit Europe.
The website www.oceanswims.com has a link to the European ocean swims calendar, which is chock-a-block. I had a peak at this and discovered that this weekend (Aug 15) the inaugural Great London Swim is being held at the Royal Victoria Dock.
I was thinking what fun it would be to dive into the icy cold, dark and murky water when I noticed an even greater deterrent.
Here in Australia, where we like to whinge about most things, ocean swimmers complain loudly about the entry fees for many of the local swims. Most cost around $25-$40.
But in the UK, you have to fork out a whopping 35 pounds to enter this swim. That's well over $60 in Australian currency. Then there's the wetsuit hire!
I think I might just tough it out here until the weather warms up and I shed my winter coat in time for the Aussie season to start.