Men don't get romance writing

Romance-writing diary part 2...

I was having a lot of problems with that first kiss, especially the lips. I started out with: 'His lips found hers...' but was reminded of the TV commercial for a brand of beer where the tongue escapes from its sleeping owner's mouth and crawls/tongues its way to a nightclub to get a beer.

'Their lips met' is another tricky one. Where did they meet? A nightclub? A dinner party?

I get past the lips meeting dilemma and move onto where the hero 'fondles' the heroine's breasts. My partner Spanner arrives home and I ask him what it's like to touch up a nice firm breast.

I tell him: "Cast your mind back to when we first met."

He says: "I don't know what it feels like. Can't you just say he couldn't describe the feeling?"

God, men are useless.

Five minutes later, my first minor love scene is complete. Spanner insists I read it aloud.

After I stumble through it, highly embarrassed, he comments: "That's pretty light-on."

"What did you expect?" I say. "It's their first kiss and I can't have them having sex yet."

"I want porn," he says.

Arrggghhhhhh!

To be continued...